Outcast

out•cast
/ˈaʊtˌkæst, -ˌkɑst/ –noun

1.A person who is rejected or cast out, as from home orsociety: In the beginning the area was settled by outcasts,adventurers, and felons.
2.A homeless wanderer; vagabond.
3.Rejected matter; refuse.

Around a month or so ago, I was chatting to my friend and somehow or the other (it always starts like this), the topic turned to our old days in Junior High School, the things that we did together, the things we experienced, teachers we like, teachers we hate and the likes. Thinking about my Junior High School experience I can’t help but remember a few of those ‘misfits’ in our batch. There was this girl in our batch, whom everyone tried to avoid at all cost. There were nasty rumours about her temper and also about her personality. No one would befriend her, there were mean jokes made about her, and even exaggeration of things that she did to further tarnish her image. I was never close to her and never had any class with her, so I never really knew whether or not all those nasty things that I hear about her were even true at all.

Remembering this, I asked my friend, whether or not she can imagine if she were to be in the position of that particular girl. I always find it kind of interesting, trying to put on other people’s shoes and try to see from their point of view. Even if we have different mindsets and different thought processes, but at least you can try to imagine the experiences that the other person went through. To be honest, I can’t really imagine myself in that girl’s position. No friends, disliked by the whole batch, having people concocting lies about you to further destroy your chances of connecting with other people, it’s just too much.

In every school, or any community even, there are always some people who are deemed as the outcasts. They are what most call as the misfits, those who can’t or won’t fit in with the rest of the community. I guess one of the reasons for this is the fact that everybody’s different and of course within a community there are certain people who can connect with a lot of other people and there are those whose personality or character had a smaller acceptance group within the community. The outcasts are the extreme of the latter group, they are sometimes just so different that very few people can connect with them.

The question that I’ve been asking is whose fault is it? Is it the society’s fault for not being accepting enough to other people who are just born different? Or is it the person’s fault for not trying hard enough to fit in? I feel that outcasts are social conundrums. At times you really want to help them and reach out to them, but sometimes you yourself just can’t “click” with them or understand them at all. And if we try to ask them to change, to be able to accepted, is it wrong? Are we asking them to change who they are? Are we not respecting them as individuals, as a unique person?

It is wrong for the society to completely reject a few people and deem them as outcast just because they are different than the majority. However this does not mean that everyone can just do as they like within society, demanding the society to accept them as who they are, no matter how they are in terms character and personality. The key thing to achieve this ideal of concept of acceptance for everyone is tolerance.

These days, sometimes the society is a bit too prejudiced and filled with judgements based on inaccurate observations and assumptions. These prejudices and judgements are sometimes so strong that the society would refuse to look beyond that of the prejudice to see who the person really is. As a society we all should try and practice tolerance, be less judging and more accepting towards other people. Try to understand where they came from, and try to accept them as unique individuals.

However we can’t put the entire burden on the society as tolerance must also be practiced by the individual. Just asking other people to accept who you are without making any effort means you are just being selfish and not being tolerant towards other people around you. When we live in a society we are bound by certain rules and certain norms which are accepted within that society. Therefore we all must adjust ourselves to fit into that particular society. Just an example, maybe your favourite thing to talk about is dirt (not mocking any dirt-loving people here just giving an example), but not everyone can understand it, so make the effort to find something else to talk about, rather than expecting everyone to understand that you love dirt, and therefore must always talk about dirt with you. Tolerance goes both ways, if everyone were to be so selfish and didn’t try to fit in anarchy and chaos would ensue, and the concept of society would just be a thing of the past.

This just goes to show that being an outcast is not a permanent state, that we all have the power to change it. The general population can help by trying to be more accepting and understanding towards the different people, but the individuals must also try and help themselves to change a bit and fit in with the general population. Trying to fit in does not mean changing who you are, your personality or your character. It's being tolerant with the rest of the community, it’s controlling yourself in order to be able to connect with larger groups of people, and try to accept that the there are certain norms within the society that should be followed to be able to connect with the general population. It is perfectly possible trying to fit in while at the same time keeping true to the essence of who you are as a person.