Materialism

ma•te•ri•al•ism

noun \mə-ˈtir-ē-ə-ˌli-zəm\

1. Philosophy. (you can ignore this one). The theory that physical matter is the only reality and that everything, including thought, feeling, mind, and will, can be explained in terms of matter and physical phenomena.
2. The theory or attitude that physical well-being and worldly possessions constitute the greatest good and highest value in life.
3. A great or excessive regard for worldly concerns.

Today I went out with my 2 small cousins (age 7 and 9), alongside with their mother and auntie. They just came from central Java last Saturday and are staying at their grandparents’ place. It took us quite a while to find the house as apparently it’s located in quite a remote corner of the Karawaci area. On the way there, we entered this residential area with narrow roads and small houses. Their humble abode is a small one and sparsely decorated. I guess you can see from their home that they don’t really have that much. I mean I’m not one to judge a person by what they have but it’s just that I can’t help but notice these kind of things.

When we arrived they were already waiting for us in front of the house waving, smiling, and I suppose relieved that we finally found the place (we went round and round inside the Karawaci area for almost 45 minutes before finding the house). It was a very warm welcome that greeted us, the grandparents all came out and shook our hands firmly one by one, wearing a big smile on their face, evidently very delighted that we’ve visited their home. From this welcome alone, I can’t help but admire them. Like how proud they are of who they are and what they have even though it’s not much at all. They don't judge themselves and others based on materialistic values. I do respect them with all my heart but I can't help but feeling a little sense of pity towards them, the longing of wanting them to be able experience what I've experienced and to have what I have. And yet they deserve none of it. Their presence commands no pity whatsoever to be given to them, they are entirely satisfied, proud and happy with their lives, with what they have and what they and their children have achieved (I remember the grandmother saying with so much pride that one of her children now works in a department store as a salesgirl. That scene truly made me respect her and her family even more).

When I see people like my cousin’s grandparents I think to myself. How can they be satisfied with what they have now? Seeing other people who are doing so much better than them, how can they still be so proud of who they are, so happy, so satisfied with life? And then I realized that the question I’m supposed to be asking is How can I NOT be satisfied with what I have now? Seeing where I am, how can I NOT be proud of who I am, NOT satisfied, NOT happy with life? These days all I do is compare myself with other people and I guess letting out that little green monster every time I see a person who possess things that I long for, got into a better university than me, or achieved more in life than I already have. Why can’t I just be like my cousins’ grandparents?

Materialism is an obsession towards materialistic things, not only things associated with money but also power, and social status. It is a rampant monster here amidst of our society. In this day and age more and more people are obsessed with materialistic values and properties, and it is not uncommon for us to find people who judge other people based on materialistic values and properties.

I hate materialism and sometimes advise my friends against picking up materialistic values. But my experience with my cousins’ grandparents stopped me in my track and made me look into a mirror and see that I myself am not free of this monster called materialism. Not very grateful of what I have and noticing what people have and don’t haves, and even though I said I don’t judge people based on those things but I believe the fact that I notice these things about people means that to a certain extent it does affect how I view other people. Wanting things is not wrong. To want to achieve a better standard of living is perfectly fine. It’s just that when you start to get a little obsessed about it, start to take the things that you have for granted, start to look at people through this lens of materialistic values and forgetting other values. That’s materialism.

I do have a thing or two to learn from my cousins’ grandparents (the phrase “can you practice what you preach” from Black Eyed Peas song 'Where is the love' just took a whole new meaning for me) and I am utterly (and completely) humbled by them, we all should be. Tomorrow I am going out with my cousins again, and this time I’m really looking forward towards meeting their grandparents, being graced by their presence and visiting their humble abode.